Welcome To The Players Of My Life

[floyd__streete]

With our imminent return to obscurity around the corner (suppose I’d best do a winky face here – irony is now no longer recognisable without an emoticon for the X Factor gener8tion) I’ve been thinking about insignificant names from our past, feel free to join in.

Graham Kemp – wasn’t he some sort of estate agent or something who also drove the youth team’s minibus? Played for Theale in the Reading Sunday League IIRC and McGhee was so desperate for players he sat on the subs bench for a couple of 1st team games.

Allan Cockram – scored an 89th minute equaliser for Reading on his debut for a rare point at Springfield Park, Wigan in November 1991. Why do I remember such crap? Because I was in the RBH at the time, recovering from an operation on my ballsack. Or was it the Battle? Kind of an apt surname anyway given the delicate nature of the procedure.

Phil Burns – Ex-soldier who stepped in when Steve Francis puked up his own pelvis or something. Started off impressively with a clean sheet on his debut against.....Welling United. But we didn’t win. Somewhere in a parallel, Red Dwarfian universe that series of cup ties is still ongoing.

David McDonald – unremarkable right back signed from Spurs during the days when McGhee had more loans than the Greek government. Literally no-one else I have spoken to remembers this man, so it is possible that I have dreamed him up. I’d be thrilled if someone wanted to get in touch via DM perhaps and we could share some memories, perhaps set up a ‘I paid money to watch David McDonald Support Group’.

Andy Wright – waif-like supposed winger signed from Leeds afraid of his own shadow who was bullied mercilessly by Lucas Neill during a Mass Sarr-inspired 1-1 draw at Millwall, December 1998. Never seen again, presumably he was destroyed in a controlled explosion.

Also, if you haven’t seen all of Eric Groeleken, Denis Lota or Lubomir Blaha play up front for the Royals in a reserve or friendly game then the chances are you’ve had a far better life than I have. Talking of reserve games, I remember being lumbered stood next to an old git who looked like the Paul Whitehouse ‘hardest game in the world’ character from the Fast Show – complete with yellow teeth – during a particularly awful 1-3 home loss to Tranmere during the dying embers of the period we remember simply as ‘BULLIVANT’, and he was extolling the virtues of the Fulham striker who’d torn our reserve defence a new @rsehole the preceding midweek. With all too deadly seriousness he was suggesting that we sign 38 year old Alan Cork.


Anyway, thanks for reading. Sorry this was a bit boring. Have a great day.

[Alexander Litvinenko]

Neville Roach - Kid who'd scored lots for the reserves and was acclaimed the new messiah by fans who'd never seen him play and knew nothing else about him - in many ways the 1997 equivalent to the countless threads on here from posters who know for sure that just playing one particular player will solve all our problems in a flash and then we'll zoom up the league. If HNA? had existed then the whole front page would be full of threads saying "Roach is the answer," "Why isn't he playing Roach?" etc etc etc.

Roach got his break, scored in his first game then never again in the next 15, and 8 months later was on-loan at Kingstonian.

[Colin Cheeselog]

John Humphries. Another unremarkable loan right back from about 1993. Smelt of current buns.

[Sanguine]

Keith Jones - perenially under-rated midfield plodder who with Neil Smith infrequently formed part of a midfield that would make even Mikele Leigertwood weep. Very limited player but could put his foot on the ball and pass it, given 5 seconds and a lot of space.

Mass Sarr - Liberian international winger/forward who all too briefly turned the Madejski stadium into the home of samba football. Memorably flicked the ball over his own head to beat a defender, Sarr gave opponents nightmares for all of two weeks before discovering Reading's nightlife. The rest, as they say, is (with a rapidly growing waistband) history.

[reading_fan]

Phil Burns – Ex-soldier who stepped in when Steve Francis puked up his own pelvis or something. Started off impressively with a clean sheet on his debut against.....Welling United. But we didn’t win. Somewhere in a parallel, Red Dwarfian universe that series of cup ties is still ongoing.

Phil Burns was the goal keeper for the game I was mascot for (a 1-2 defeat at home to Leyton Orient, October 1990). I remember taking penalties against him in the warm up and "scoring" a couple (given I was 7 at the time, he probably let a few in) in front of the Tilehurst End. I later did a presentation on the day at my primary school, and he was my favourite player at the time. Heady days.

[reading_fan]

Neville Roach - Kid who'd scored lots for the reserves and was acclaimed the new messiah by fans who'd never seen him play and knew nothing else about him - in many ways the 1997 equivalent to the countless threads on here from posters who know for sure that just playing one particular player will solve all our problems in a flash and then we'll zoom up the league. If HNA? had existed then the whole front page would be full of threads saying "Roach is the answer," "Why isn't he playing Roach?" etc etc etc.

Roach got his break, scored in his first game then never again in the next 15, and 8 months later was on-loan at Kingstonian.

I remember him, and he was supposed to be "the next big thing" at the time. How wrong we were!

[Christof]

Neville Roach - Kid who'd scored lots for the reserves and was acclaimed the new messiah by fans who'd never seen him play and knew nothing else about him - in many ways the 1997 equivalent to the countless threads on here from posters who know for sure that just playing one particular player will solve all our problems in a flash and then we'll zoom up the league. If HNA? had existed then the whole front page would be full of threads saying "Roach is the answer," "Why isn't he playing Roach?" etc etc etc.

Roach got his break, scored in his first game then never again in the next 15, and 8 months later was on-loan at Kingstonian.

I remember him, and he was supposed to be "the next big thing" at the time. How wrong we were!

Had 'quite a few' clubs in his time...
http://www.sloughtownfc.net/profile/1312/Neville-Roach

[reading_fan]

Keith Jones - perenially under-rated midfield plodder who with Neil Smith infrequently formed part of a midfield that would make even Mikele Leigertwood weep. Very limited player but could put his foot on the ball and pass it, given 5 seconds and a lot of space.

Mass Sarr - Liberian international winger/forward who all too briefly turned the Madejski stadium into the home of samba football. Memorably flicked the ball over his own head to beat a defender, Sarr gave opponents nightmares for all of two weeks before discovering Reading's nightlife. The rest, as they say, is (with an rapidly growing waistband) history.

Keith Jones - under-rated? Was he not just a bit crap? I watched quite a few of the games he played and never thought he was that gr8 to be honest. Smudger was ok, good work rate, but limited talent.

Mass Sarr - possibly the biggest "one game wonder" RFC has ever seen. Absolutely destroyed the mighty Luton on the opening day at the Mad Stad, and never came close to reproducing that performance in any of his subsequent games.

[yappy]

Neville Roach - Kid who'd scored lots for the reserves and was acclaimed the new messiah by fans who'd never seen him play and knew nothing else about him - in many ways the 1997 equivalent to the countless threads on here from posters who know for sure that just playing one particular player will solve all our problems in a flash and then we'll zoom up the league. If HNA? had existed then the whole front page would be full of threads saying "Roach is the answer," "Why isn't he playing Roach?" etc etc etc.

Roach got his break, scored in his first game then never again in the next 15, and 8 months later was on-loan at Kingstonian.

I remember him, and he was supposed to be "the next big thing" at the time. How wrong we were!

Saw him playing for Basingstoke Town a few years later, and he didn't look anything special at that level either.

Back to the OP, I was actually a bit gutted when we didn't sign Lubomir Blaha. Knowing me, knowing you.....

[Bowman's Quiver]

Colin Cort - Plucked from Andover Reserves to play in goal in a game against Swindon in 1981 after all our keepers were crocked. Finished as a 1-1 draw. I was playing for Newbury Reserves in goal at that time. Often wondered what might have been (a 10-1 defeat probably)

[mr_number]

Mass Sarr - possibly the biggest "one game wonder" RFC has ever seen. Absolutely destroyed the mighty Luton on the opening day at the Mad Stad, and never came close to reproducing that performance in any of his subsequent games.

Why do people bang on about Mass Sarr like this? He was awesome against Lincoln as well, and I have a vague memory of him being superlative against Oxford, but I might have made that one up. In any case, the only reason I can see for this criticism of Mass is deep-seated racism.

[Sanguine]

Mass Sarr - possibly the biggest "one game wonder" RFC has ever seen. Absolutely destroyed the mighty Luton on the opening day at the Mad Stad, and never came close to reproducing that performance in any of his subsequent games.

Why do people bang on about Mass Sarr like this? He was awesome against Lincoln as well, and I have a vague memory of him being superlative against Oxford, but I might have made that one up. In any case, the only reason I can see for this criticism of Mass is deep-seated racism.

Wtf?

[mr_number]

I liked Neville Roach. It was one of the joys of Div 2 football that you could be judged the 'next big thing' if you had a bit of pace, regardless of the fact you were completely useless in every other way.

From the same vintage, Byron Glasgow had a certain laid back flair which I admired on the odd occasion he turned up to play.

[mr_number]

Mass Sarr - possibly the biggest "one game wonder" RFC has ever seen. Absolutely destroyed the mighty Luton on the opening day at the Mad Stad, and never came close to reproducing that performance in any of his subsequent games.

Why do people bang on about Mass Sarr like this? He was awesome against Lincoln as well, and I have a vague memory of him being superlative against Oxford, but I might have made that one up. In any case, the only reason I can see for this criticism of Mass is deep-seated racism.

Wtf?

racist.

[Hampshire Royal]

Who was that young Irish bloke we had some years ago? He looked really good, and was then just forgotten about.

[reading_fan]

Who was that young Irish bloke we had some years ago? He looked really good, and was then just forgotten about.

Do you mean Karl Shepperd who we got from one of the Irish clubs who had "Europa League experience" with them, but never actually played a game for us?

[Alexander Litvinenko]

Who was that young Irish bloke we had some years ago? He looked really good, and was then just forgotten about.

Do you mean Karl Shepperd who we got from one of the Irish clubs who had "Europa League experience" with them, but never actually played a game for us?

Joe Gamble?

[Stooper]

Who was that young Irish bloke we had some years ago? He looked really good, and was then just forgotten about.

There's only one Joe Gamble

[Badger Finger]

Who was that young Irish bloke we had some years ago? He looked really good, and was then just forgotten about.

Do you mean Karl Shepperd who we got from one of the Irish clubs who had "Europa League experience" with them, but never actually played a game for us?

Joe Gamble?

Last thing I heard he was at Hartlepool?

[Gandalf Presley]

Mark McKeever?

One for the old school - Dave Madden. Played a handful of games in 87/88 season and scored a couple of two. Came, played then fooked off.