Best One-Liners heard at a Reading Game

[Terminal Boardom]

What are your particular favourites? Which ones stand out from the crowd? I don't mean spontaneous chants but quips that When Saturday Comes would refer to as comments said by "TBBM" - The Bloke Behind Me.

One of my faves was from The Man City game at EP in 1998. We were coasting and after an hour or so, the ball went out of play for a goal kick to Man City. Nigel Clough went across, picked the ball up and threw it back to his keeper. Ark Royal then shouted:

"Oi Cloughie. What's it like to get a touch?"

PMSL!!!

Any others of note?

EDIT: My mistake, 1996/97 so go finger yourself spaceychops

[SpaceCruiser]

Clough never played for Manchester City in the second tier, I'm sure. I've even gone as far to check soccerbase: http://www.soccerbase.com/results3.sd?gameid=249036 - he's not in the line up for that game.

[juanpablo]

yes spacecruiser

yessssssssssssssss

[Maguire]

Ark Royal then shouted:

"some old shit"

PMSL!!!

I'm glad you're mates and I'm sure you've got some good tales of the EP days but can you please stop bumming each other on here? Ta.

[under the tin]

Cardiff (h) at the Madstad, about 2 years ago??

To the tune of "bread of heaven", directed at the Cardiff fans

does your willy
does your willy
does your willy smell of lamb?

Old one from EP days
Friendly against some spanish team, can't remember who.

McGhee brings himself on, and spontaneously from the Southbank

"who ate all the pies?"
I think that most of the stadium laughed at that one, including some players.

[Rex]

'This isn't a fcuking barn dance' aimed at our woeful defending and pleading for a tackle to be made. 2003

[Big Foot]

Leeds away, we lost 3-1 and Owusu scored a backheel late on. Must've been spring 2004.

Silent, subdued away crowd dismayed at being 3 nil down and Neil Sullivan came over to get the ball out of the crowd which was then thrown onto the pitch. One bloke about 5 rows in front stands up and shouts at Sullivan, "Oi Sullivan, look behind you - it's your f~~~ing career"

[Allyh84]

"Jimmy Kebe is a good player" Had me in stitches!

[AbovetheI]

Leeds away, we lost 3-1 and Owusu scored a backheel late on. Must've been spring 2004.

Silent, subdued away crowd dismayed at being 3 nil down and Neil Sullivan came over to get the ball out of the crowd which was then thrown onto the pitch. One bloke about 5 rows in front stands up and shouts at Sullivan, "Oi Sullivan, look behind you - it's your f~~~ing career"

That was me

[CMRoyal]

There was an away game late 80s/early 90s - sorry, can't remember where or when! Think it might have been Selhurst Park - when the home team bizarrely had a man dressed as a clown walking round the perimeter of the pitch before the match as part of on one of the many ill-advised "family fun days" knocking around at the time.

Anyway, as he walked in front of our section TBBM shouted "you're a f*cking clown!".

You had to be there, really.

[SpaceCruiser]

"Jimmy Kebe is a good player" Had me in stitches!

Not funny at all.

[Dirk Gently]

Home to Oldham during the fuel crisis in late 2000, when Butts & Curo were on fire.

"What a waste of petrol."

[Plymouth_Royal]

probably this one from andy griffin

"...We gave Villa a real run for their money and we're playing attractive football...."

[Geekins]

The year we went up we played Ipswich and won 2-0. The start of the Sonko is Superman chant as well but...

We were chanting Doyle is a Royal then i think it went on to Coppell is a Royal. One guy behind me stood up when no one thought of anymore and sang Joe Royale (Ipswich's manager) is a Royal... to which no one joined in. He was embarassed but was very funny.

[SpaceCruiser]

.

[Sir Rodney Effing]

Cardiff (h) at the Madstad, about 2 years ago??

To the tune of "bread of heaven", directed at the Cardiff fans

does your willy
does your willy
does your willy smell of lamb?

Old one from EP days
Friendly against some spanish team, can't remember who.

McGhee brings himself on, and spontaneously from the Southbank

"who ate all the pies?"
I think that most of the stadium laughed at that one, including some players.

Fcuking 'ell, taking the piss out of Cardiif for being sheep shaggers and McGhee for being the Fat Scottish Bastard are your best one liners? You need to get out more, these are both ancient mate!

[Far Canal]

Away at Scunthorpe when Lee Hodges cames on for us a sub:

"Two Lee Hodges, there's only two Lee Hodges."

For those too young to know and those with failing memories, a Lee Hodges also played for Scunny.

[Row Z Royal]

Home to Everton, just before Christmas 2006:

Famous lino-basher and Whiff contributor Beef is slightly annoyed at another incorrect decision from the assistant in front of the East Stand and shouts "Oi lino! I'm going to climb down your chimney and shit on all your presents!"

[Ian Herring]

To Stephen Ireland as he was warming up for Citeh in front of the LW, 'How's both yer Nans?'

Credit to the boy, he laughed.

[CMRoyal]

Remembered another one - when some travellers briefly made their home on the patch of grass behind the South Stand some wags in Y25 sang "you only live round the corner" to gipsy-coiffured Voronin (I think) of Liverpool.