Will England qualify for Euro 2008?

[Stranded]

Cheer up! It's good news really...
* We'll be fresh for World Cup 2010 qualification.

* No England? No embarrassing early-morning news bulletins depicting our brave boys on the rampage after failing to cope with the effects of 5% lager.

* We didn't choke. True, we weren't good enough to be in a position to choke, but at least we didn't choke.

* Britain's balance of payment deficit won't be further reduced by the WAGS shopping abroad. If they get desperate, they can even try Sunderland.

* It will be possible to watch every Euro 2008 match at your local pub without queuing at the bar.

* No need to organise your summer holidays around what the missus invariably calls 'the bloody football'. You won't even have to confirm that you are more interested in watching the football than going on holiday with her highness.

* No need to wave a tatty flag out of your Ford Cortina telling everyone in England that, yes, you too are English, and you also happen to support England.

* No ASDA adverts with Michael Owen looking distinctly uncomfortable in that difficult role of 'Michael Owen'.

* Wales, Scotland, Northern Ireland and Republic of Ireland probably won't be going either so their insufferable smugness is off the menu again.

* The next time that the pub bore describes Rooney/Gerrard/Owen/Ferdinand as 'world class' you'll be able to laugh yourself silly.

* Watching England play hasn't been fun since a flukey night in 2001. Truth be told, we'd probably have embarrassed ourselves even if we had qualified.

* No prayer mats when Rooney/Gerrard/Richards inevitably break a metatarsal in March.

* The BBC won't be able to spunk half the licence fee on taking everyone bar the cleaning lady on a summer jolly to Switzria.

* No Ian Wright!

* No Garth Crooks!

* Steve McClaren will be replaced by someone who is unlikely to be quite so inept.

* No more club v country rows. No more excuse-making from Ferguson, Benitez and chums.

* We didn't lose on penalties.

* The loveable Roman Abramovich looked very happy last night.

* Those Russians are lovely people.

* There's still hope. Thank heavens we created Israel...

Plus Israel's home form in last 30 internationals:

W 15 D 12 L 3