by TFF »
29 Mar 2007 16:56
LET'S HOPE GEORGE W BUSH DOESN'T INVADE IRELAND TO PLUNDER ITS DOYLE
Things that work in theory but not in practice: a Nirvana reunion;
that poncey Zidane movie which, be honest, you turned off after half
an hour because scrutinising a footballer when he doesn't have the
ball may be oh-so-clever and high-falutin' but is ultimately very
bloody boring; simultaneous orga$m; the Fiver; and making Robbie
Keane captain of the Republic of Ireland.
You know what Stan "Steve" Staunton was thinking: Keane may be a
skittish sod with a star complex, but giving him the armband could
have convinced him to put his undoubted skill to the service of the
team. Alas, that hasn't happened and since taking charge Keane's
inspirational, two-pronged leadership ploy has been to 1) incessantly
whinge at refs and 2) drop deeper than a coffin in quicksand to
demand the ball from less famous team-mates so that he can embark on
yet another doomed attempt to dribble around the entire opposition
all by himself.
What a boon it was, then, that Keane got booked in last Saturday's
wretched win over wretched Wales and was suspended for last night's
Euro 2008 qualifying scrap with Slovakia. In came Kevin Doyle, who's
a Zen Buddhist compared to the egomaniacal absentee and has the skill
and strength to genuinely lead the line. The only surprising thing
when he scored the winner was that a certain Spurs striker didn't
cartwheel on to the pitch and attempt to steal the credit.
"It was a better performance from us than against Wales," declared
Doyle, diplomatically refraining from beating his dozy manager over
the head with a shillelagh for starting him on the bench last
Saturday. "The result puts us massively back in the hunt for
qualification from the group," roared the Reading man, his subtle
wording making it clear that he shares the Fiver's view that his
club-mate Stephen Hunt, who also excelled after a belated
introduction, must start September's make-or-break bouts away to
Slovakia and the Czech Republic. "Droonnnnnnnnnnnnnnne," said
Staunton.
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Today's Fiver
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