by The Goat was fed »
14 Aug 2007 17:42
With Hunt still refusing to apologise for his Genghis Khan-esque attack on Petr Cech, Mourinho publically states that extra measures will be taken to ensure his team's safety.
At 19.58pm the crowd looks on in amazement as the entire Chelsea team, including management staff, march on to the pitch sporting protective headgear. Overcome with surprise, Reading start sluggishly and Chelsea take an early lead. Steve Sidwell does not have the heart to score against his old club so deliberately aims his shot wide. However, being a shot from a slow central midfielder from Chelsea the ball takes an incredible deflection off something and ends up in the back of the net.
Sidwell's joy is short lived however when a celebration hug from Lampard results in two fractured ribs and a punctured lung. The Royal Berkshire Hospital reacted quickly but due to flooded roads Sidwell can't get the treatment he needs and is out for the season.
Mourinho refuses to pay his water bill as a protest against Thames Water for sabotaging his season through their incompetent flood management schemes. Mourinho is fined consistently by the water board until he is forced to sell Malouda to cover his debts.
Back to the game and Reading are lifted by Sidwell's departure. Stephen Hunt chases a slightly overhit ball from Harper into the Chelsea box. Cech should come out and gather easily but a sudden and vivid flashback renders the big Czech senseless. Hunt taps the ball into the empty net. Cech is sent to the priory.
With minutes remaining, Reading force a corner. The cross from Shorey is a poor one and Essien looks favourite to head the ball clear. Unfortunately for the Ghanian the protective headgear is not designed for heading. The ball cannons off at a funny angle and heads for the Chelsea goal. Cudicini, on for the traumatised Cech, makes a fine reaction save but on the follow through crashes into the post and is knocked out. Long takes advantage of the situation by tapping home the winner with virtually the last touch of the game.
Mourinho refuses to play with goal posts for the remainder of the games this season, insisting that they sabotaged his season. Mourinho is fined for every game he plays with jumpers as goalposts until he is forced to sell Lampard to cover his debts.
That would make me happy.
2-1 Reading.