Compo's HatOLLIE KEARNS Very funnyYou should send it off to The Whiff for publication , think everyone would enjoy this
^^^^^
What he said
What they said!
The Secret Diary of Brendan Rodgers Aged 36 3/4
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seahawk10
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What they said!-
ankeny
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They are loving this on the BBC Watford message board 
Terrific post. Well done OoTM
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Franchise FC
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Thanks for reminding me
Some time ago (sadly before HNA) a friend of mine wrote Barndoor's Diary, a similar exercise when things weren't going well for Ian Branfoot.
The line I remember best was in relation to the fact that Martin Hicks was performing unbelievable badly
"The plan with Hicksy appears to be working"
Some time ago (sadly before HNA) a friend of mine wrote Barndoor's Diary, a similar exercise when things weren't going well for Ian Branfoot.
The line I remember best was in relation to the fact that Martin Hicks was performing unbelievable badly
"The plan with Hicksy appears to be working"
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Negative_Jeff
- Member
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- Joined: 25 May 2008 20:27
3RD JANUARY 2010
Brrrr it was freezing yesterday in the dug out in that lucky jumper but I have a warm glow inside. After all it was not just beating Chelsea at The Bridge in the Cup but the manner in which we acheived it. These kids have really got the message, pass, move and play on the counter attack. Narrow, then width, diamond then 4-3-3 we had Cashley Cole chasing shadows so we did. Frank Senior cannot believe the improvement since he came back from Barbados and Fat Frank Jnr was the first to congratulate him after the game.
Quite honestly this result came as no surprise to me and the turning point came with those two thumping wins in October against Boro and Albion. Yes it is true that Mr Arnesen approached Mr Hammond after the game with a huge offer for Gylfi. Well no way, he`s my lad. Mr Madejski can see how things are moving and we are no longer a selling club. I don`t care who we draw in the next round there are bigger fish to fry yet in The Championship this season.
Finally it was nice to stick it up that juvenile fans web site that gave me so much grief at the start of the season. One or two kept the faith like Royalee and Negative Jeff, ha ha Positive Jeff more like, world class posters they are. That parody of this diary by the Trevor Morley fella deserves a mention though. Trevor Morley, wasn`t he some pacy sriker from the days at Elm Park? Well you need more than raw pace these days. You need to vary your game. I feel vindicated.
With Acknowledgments
Brrrr it was freezing yesterday in the dug out in that lucky jumper but I have a warm glow inside. After all it was not just beating Chelsea at The Bridge in the Cup but the manner in which we acheived it. These kids have really got the message, pass, move and play on the counter attack. Narrow, then width, diamond then 4-3-3 we had Cashley Cole chasing shadows so we did. Frank Senior cannot believe the improvement since he came back from Barbados and Fat Frank Jnr was the first to congratulate him after the game.
Quite honestly this result came as no surprise to me and the turning point came with those two thumping wins in October against Boro and Albion. Yes it is true that Mr Arnesen approached Mr Hammond after the game with a huge offer for Gylfi. Well no way, he`s my lad. Mr Madejski can see how things are moving and we are no longer a selling club. I don`t care who we draw in the next round there are bigger fish to fry yet in The Championship this season.
Finally it was nice to stick it up that juvenile fans web site that gave me so much grief at the start of the season. One or two kept the faith like Royalee and Negative Jeff, ha ha Positive Jeff more like, world class posters they are. That parody of this diary by the Trevor Morley fella deserves a mention though. Trevor Morley, wasn`t he some pacy sriker from the days at Elm Park? Well you need more than raw pace these days. You need to vary your game. I feel vindicated.
With Acknowledgments
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Row Z Royal
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^Shouldn't have bothered.
Row Z Royal ^Shouldn't have bothered.
+1
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SLAMMED
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rhroyalRow Z Royal ^Shouldn't have bothered.
+1
+2
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mzungu_royal
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+3, but good attempt. OOTM, when can we expect the next official part of this thrilling World class diary?
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SLAMMED
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mzungu_royal +3, but good attempt. OOTM, when can we expect the next official part of this thrilling World class diary?
I think he said he would be writing one after the Watford game.
Compo's HatOLLIE KEARNS Very funny
^^^^^
What he said
'GREED
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PremAddict
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I can't wait to get the inside diary scoop of FL jr's endorsement of our "special" BR! Should be great!
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andrew1957
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Well I woke up this morning feeling really pleased with myself. It is fantastic when a world class plan starts coming together.
The QPR match last night just could not have gone any better. The first part of my plan to disillusion, frustrate and alienate the fans is nearly complete. I am not sure exactly when to activate part two of the plan when I turn things round and start to win games. In the end I will be a world class hero at Reading FC, when I bring the team back from an impossible situation and save the day.
Sir John was really impressed with my plan at interview, but I think he was even more impressed by my willingness to work for free this season.
The players have been world class. They have followed my instructions to the letter. Sometimes they get a bit over excited in the first half of games and play a bit too well, but I soon calm them down at half time and explain where they are going wrong. That seems to do the trick as we hardly ever score in the second half. I was a bit disappointed last night that a few too many passes went astray and actually found our own players, but even my world class lads are not perfect and they sometimes forget to pass to the opposition.
The only blot on the season was the win at Barnsley. I told Noel to blast the penalty over the bar but he miss-hit it into the goal. To cap it all another ball hit his head and went in. All a bit bizarre but no one is perfect.
The referee played along brilliantly last night. I explained things to him at half time and asked him to even up the numbers and he obliged within 5 seconds of the restart - world class referring that. How Dean and I chuckled in the dug out.
Still have not decided when to let the lads start playing properly. I will have a look at Hobnob later and make sure that I am being given loads of stick and then make my mind up.
The weather is not great this morning but I am looking forward to another world class day training the lads - every day is a sunny day for me.
The QPR match last night just could not have gone any better. The first part of my plan to disillusion, frustrate and alienate the fans is nearly complete. I am not sure exactly when to activate part two of the plan when I turn things round and start to win games. In the end I will be a world class hero at Reading FC, when I bring the team back from an impossible situation and save the day.
Sir John was really impressed with my plan at interview, but I think he was even more impressed by my willingness to work for free this season.
The players have been world class. They have followed my instructions to the letter. Sometimes they get a bit over excited in the first half of games and play a bit too well, but I soon calm them down at half time and explain where they are going wrong. That seems to do the trick as we hardly ever score in the second half. I was a bit disappointed last night that a few too many passes went astray and actually found our own players, but even my world class lads are not perfect and they sometimes forget to pass to the opposition.
The only blot on the season was the win at Barnsley. I told Noel to blast the penalty over the bar but he miss-hit it into the goal. To cap it all another ball hit his head and went in. All a bit bizarre but no one is perfect.
The referee played along brilliantly last night. I explained things to him at half time and asked him to even up the numbers and he obliged within 5 seconds of the restart - world class referring that. How Dean and I chuckled in the dug out.
Still have not decided when to let the lads start playing properly. I will have a look at Hobnob later and make sure that I am being given loads of stick and then make my mind up.
The weather is not great this morning but I am looking forward to another world class day training the lads - every day is a sunny day for me.
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andrew1957
- Hob Nob Regular
- Posts: 4365
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andrew1957 Well I woke up this morning feeling really pleased with myself. It is fantastic when a world class plan starts coming together.
The QPR match last night just could not have gone any better. The first part of my plan to disillusion, frustrate and alienate the fans is nearly complete. I am not sure exactly when to activate part two of the plan when I turn things round and start to win games. In the end I will be a world class hero at Reading FC, when I bring the team back from an impossible situation and save the day.
Sir John was really impressed with my plan at interview, but I think he was even more impressed by my willingness to work for free this season.
The players have been world class. They have followed my instructions to the letter. Sometimes they get a bit over excited in the first half of games and play a bit too well, but I soon calm them down at half time and explain where they are going wrong. That seems to do the trick as we hardly ever score in the second half. I was a bit disappointed last night that a few too many passes went astray and actually found our own players, but even my world class lads are not perfect and they sometimes forget to pass to the opposition.
The only blot on the season was the win at Barnsley. I told Noel to blast the penalty over the bar but he miss-hit it into the goal. To cap it all another ball hit his head and went in. All a bit bizarre but no one is perfect.
The referee played along brilliantly last night. I explained things to him at half time and asked him to even up the numbers and he obliged within 5 seconds of the restart - world class referring that. How Dean and I chuckled in the dug out.
Still have not decided when to let the lads start playing properly. I will have a look at Hobnob later and make sure that I am being given loads of stick and then make my mind up.
The weather is not great this morning but I am looking forward to another world class day training the lads - every day is a sunny day for me.
Part 2 of my long term plan is now all but complete.
After the QPR game I decided it was time to change tack and start to play well. Initially my lads were a bit confused when I told them to start passing to each other but being the skillful soldier that I am they soon got the message before the Leicester game. The result was a tad disappointing but it proved what I knew all along that the frequenters of Hobnob were very fickle and one reasonable performance got many of them back on my side.
Now at last we have won at home and I enjoyed standing on the pitch to the chants of Brendan Rodger's Blue and White Army - what a turn round. They are beginning to love me now - just as I planned. As I stood there with a tear running down my cheek I could not help thinking of how good part 23 of my plan will feel when I lead Northern Ireland to World Cup victory against Brazil in 2022.
What a world class plan and how good it feels to be a world class manager.
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Only one Trevor Morley
- Member
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- Location: On the floor of the penalty box, having won a penalty by falling over
reunited and it feels so goooood
that was the song that greeted this morning as I awoke and realised that Brendan is back, they cant keep the coleraine Kid down for long. and yet the song had extra meaning for me - it signals that I am about to be reunited with someone I havent seen in a while - oh Tommy why did you abandon me in my moment of need. But I can forgive - I'll be in touch soon from your pompey hell lad - dont you worry about that my love. I dont care who I have to flog to get you in.
they say I'm 4th choice - but I know the chairmans list would have read 1) Brendan Rodgers 2) brendan Rodgers 3) Brendan Rodgers and 4) Brendan Rodgers. thats certainly what I say to myself whenever I look in the mirror
I came down stairs and saw Mrs Rodgers ironing my brand new swansea city duvet cover. I;m Swansea number one fan now, Alan Latchford, Lee trundle, Vetch field - there like old friends to me. I've carefully coloured in all my reading mugs with a black felt tip pen. I've come home to Swansea - its not far to fishguard and a fe rry to my homeland. It was my destiny to end up here. I feel the football gods have decided that this is all part of the plan they have for me
Cyril the Swan is out - they say he's a an egotistcal mascot and I cant have that in the team that I will lead to Premiership glory - there is only person in charge. theres an 'I' in Cyril but theres no 'I' rodgers - just a GOD. I am the resurrection comes on the readio - I feel its apt somehow.
I got dressed and there waiting for me, carefully laid out by my world class wife were my new watch (the last one was just too small for a man of my stature).a new sweater and most importantly of all the bible - the folder - the book that tells me all I need to know about football. I cradle it in my arms - oh I'm back. I lent the folder to Brian Mc when I left - he left me a note saying reading would never forgets its contents - a nice touch I thought.
I cannot beleive how lucky I am in finding a side that is already wedded so much to my philosophy of football - 40 goals in one season - that really is incredible . With reading it took me 6 months to get the team to where I wanted them - this team already is three quarters of the way there. Swansea are going to see football like they have never seen before - they'll be talking about me in 20 years time. I have no doubt about that.
I'm now writing out my shoppoing list before I go out; tea, tanktop, tommy Smith, sean Cummings and then remind myself to ring Jose. In so many ways our lives are parralel me at reading him at inter, me at Swansea and him at Real Madrid. we're destined to be like Clough and Taylor, Paisley and Fagin, Morecambe and Wise Frank Lampard snrphones from Bali with new indonesian hotshot he has found - dear old frank he never misses an opportunity to help me out. a world class individuaol
Ultimately it will be the world class fans that shape our fate this season - there are three types those who support you loyally, those who question you and who you have to prove yourself to and those who dont like you at all - I've been luucky enough to only expereince two of those types of fans in the past. I'm sure it will continue in my relationship with the Swas.
TBC......
that was the song that greeted this morning as I awoke and realised that Brendan is back, they cant keep the coleraine Kid down for long. and yet the song had extra meaning for me - it signals that I am about to be reunited with someone I havent seen in a while - oh Tommy why did you abandon me in my moment of need. But I can forgive - I'll be in touch soon from your pompey hell lad - dont you worry about that my love. I dont care who I have to flog to get you in.
they say I'm 4th choice - but I know the chairmans list would have read 1) Brendan Rodgers 2) brendan Rodgers 3) Brendan Rodgers and 4) Brendan Rodgers. thats certainly what I say to myself whenever I look in the mirror
I came down stairs and saw Mrs Rodgers ironing my brand new swansea city duvet cover. I;m Swansea number one fan now, Alan Latchford, Lee trundle, Vetch field - there like old friends to me. I've carefully coloured in all my reading mugs with a black felt tip pen. I've come home to Swansea - its not far to fishguard and a fe rry to my homeland. It was my destiny to end up here. I feel the football gods have decided that this is all part of the plan they have for me
Cyril the Swan is out - they say he's a an egotistcal mascot and I cant have that in the team that I will lead to Premiership glory - there is only person in charge. theres an 'I' in Cyril but theres no 'I' rodgers - just a GOD. I am the resurrection comes on the readio - I feel its apt somehow.
I got dressed and there waiting for me, carefully laid out by my world class wife were my new watch (the last one was just too small for a man of my stature).a new sweater and most importantly of all the bible - the folder - the book that tells me all I need to know about football. I cradle it in my arms - oh I'm back. I lent the folder to Brian Mc when I left - he left me a note saying reading would never forgets its contents - a nice touch I thought.
I cannot beleive how lucky I am in finding a side that is already wedded so much to my philosophy of football - 40 goals in one season - that really is incredible . With reading it took me 6 months to get the team to where I wanted them - this team already is three quarters of the way there. Swansea are going to see football like they have never seen before - they'll be talking about me in 20 years time. I have no doubt about that.
I'm now writing out my shoppoing list before I go out; tea, tanktop, tommy Smith, sean Cummings and then remind myself to ring Jose. In so many ways our lives are parralel me at reading him at inter, me at Swansea and him at Real Madrid. we're destined to be like Clough and Taylor, Paisley and Fagin, Morecambe and Wise Frank Lampard snrphones from Bali with new indonesian hotshot he has found - dear old frank he never misses an opportunity to help me out. a world class individuaol
Ultimately it will be the world class fans that shape our fate this season - there are three types those who support you loyally, those who question you and who you have to prove yourself to and those who dont like you at all - I've been luucky enough to only expereince two of those types of fans in the past. I'm sure it will continue in my relationship with the Swas.
TBC......
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Royalwaster
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Awesome, keep it up!
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glass half full
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Royal With Cheese
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Great post apart from the Coleraine Kid reference as he's from Ballymena.
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havoc
Only one Trevor Morley reunited and it feels so goooood
that was the song that greeted this morning as I awoke and realised that Brendan is back, they cant keep the coleraine Kid down for long. and yet the song had extra meaning for me - it signals that I am about to be reunited with someone I havent seen in a while - oh Tommy why did you abandon me in my moment of need. But I can forgive - I'll be in touch soon from your pompey hell lad - dont you worry about that my love. I dont care who I have to flog to get you in.
they say I'm 4th choice - but I know the chairmans list would have read 1) Brendan Rodgers 2) brendan Rodgers 3) Brendan Rodgers and 4) Brendan Rodgers. thats certainly what I say to myself whenever I look in the mirror
I came down stairs and saw Mrs Rodgers ironing my brand new swansea city duvet cover. I;m Swansea number one fan now, Alan Latchford, Lee trundle, Vetch field - there like old friends to me. I've carefully coloured in all my reading mugs with a black felt tip pen. I've come home to Swansea - its not far to fishguard and a fe rry to my homeland. It was my destiny to end up here. I feel the football gods have decided that this is all part of the plan they have for me
Cyril the Swan is out - they say he's a an egotistcal mascot and I cant have that in the team that I will lead to Premiership glory - there is only person in charge. theres an 'I' in Cyril but theres no 'I' rodgers - just a GOD. I am the resurrection comes on the readio - I feel its apt somehow.
I got dressed and there waiting for me, carefully laid out by my world class wife were my new watch (the last one was just too small for a man of my stature).a new sweater and most importantly of all the bible - the folder - the book that tells me all I need to know about football. I cradle it in my arms - oh I'm back. I lent the folder to Brian Mc when I left - he left me a note saying reading would never forgets its contents - a nice touch I thought.
I cannot beleive how lucky I am in finding a side that is already wedded so much to my philosophy of football - 40 goals in one season - that really is incredible . With reading it took me 6 months to get the team to where I wanted them - this team already is three quarters of the way there. Swansea are going to see football like they have never seen before - they'll be talking about me in 20 years time. I have no doubt about that.
I'm now writing out my shoppoing list before I go out; tea, tanktop, tommy Smith, sean Cummings and then remind myself to ring Jose. In so many ways our lives are parralel me at reading him at inter, me at Swansea and him at Real Madrid. we're destined to be like Clough and Taylor, Paisley and Fagin, Morecambe and Wise Frank Lampard snrphones from Bali with new indonesian hotshot he has found - dear old frank he never misses an opportunity to help me out. a world class individuaol
Ultimately it will be the world class fans that shape our fate this season - there are three types those who support you loyally, those who question you and who you have to prove yourself to and those who dont like you at all - I've been luucky enough to only expereince two of those types of fans in the past. I'm sure it will continue in my relationship with the Swas.
TBC......
team board humour
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