Song for Bonghani

[Svlad Cjelli]

I've travelled this old world of ours from Barnsley to Peru
I've had sunshine in the arctic and a swim in Tinbuktu
I've seen unicorns in Burma and a Yetti in Nepal
And I've danced with ten foot pygmies in a Montezuma hall
I've met the King of China and a working Yorkshire miner
But I've never met a nice South African.

No he's never met a nice South African
And that's not bloody surprising man
'Cause we're a bunch of arrogant b***tards
Who hate black people

I once got served in Woolies aften less than four week's wait
I had lunch with Rowan Atkinson when he paid and wasn't late
I know a public swimming bath where they don't piss in the pool
I know a guy who got a job straight after leaving school
I've met a normal merman and a fairly modest German
But I've never met a nice South African.

No he's never met a nice South African
And that's not bloody surprising man
'Cause we're a bunch of talentless murderers
Who smell like baboons

I've had a close encounter of the twenty-second kind
That's when an alien spaceship disappears up your behind
I got directory enquiries after less than forty rings
I've even heard a decent song by Paul McCartney's Wings
I've seen a flying pig in a quite convincing wig
But I've never met a nice South African.

No he's never met a nice South African
And that's not bloody surprising man
'Cause we're a bunch of ignorant loudmouths
With no sense of humour - ha ha

I've met the Loch Ness monster and he looks like Fred Astaire
At the BBC in London he's the chief commissionaire
I know a place in Glasgow which is rife with daffodillies
I met a man in Katmandu who claimed to have two willies
I've had a nice pot noodle but I've never had a poodle
And I've never met a nice South African.

No he's never met a nice South African
And that's not bloody surprising man
Because we've never met one either
Except for Breyten Breytenbach and he's emigrated to Paris. (farts)

Yes he's quite a nice South African
And he's hardly ever killed anyone
And he's not smelly at all.
That's why they put him prison.

[The Rouge]

To the tune of: Dance, Dance, Wherever you may be - Hymn

(Dance, dance, wherever you may be / I am the lord of the dance, said he / And I lead you all, wherever you may be / And I lead you all in the dance, said he)

Sing, Sing wherever you may be / we are the team with Bongani / he came on loan to the RFC / and he'll lead us up to the Premier League

[Extended-Phenotype]

Yeah, I made no attempt to alter the lyrical content, to make it gramatically correct, or even relevant. I've simply replaced the word that ryhmes with his name. Because that's the way I like it.



Don’t. Don’t Bongani.
You know I can’t believe it when I hear that you wont see me.
Don’t. Don’t Bongani.
You know I can’t believe it when I hear that you wont need me.

It’s much to late to find
You think you’ve changed your mind
You’d better change it back or we will both be sorry

Don’t Bongani, baby
Don’t Bongani, whooh-oh-oh-whooh


Or if you are a Cyndy Lauper fan;

If you lost, and you look and you’re Bongani, time after time.



If you need any more genius song-craft you know who to holler.

[floyd__streete]

Extended Phenotype is the best new poster on HNA. FACT.

[brendywendy]

I've travelled this old world of ours from Barnsley to Peru
I've had sunshine in the arctic and a swim in Tinbuktu
I've seen unicorns in Burma and a Yetti in Nepal
And I've danced with ten foot pygmies in a Montezuma hall
I've met the King of China and a working Yorkshire miner
But I've never met a nice South African.

No he's never met a nice South African
And that's not bloody surprising man
'Cause we're a bunch of arrogant b***tards
Who hate black people

I once got served in Woolies aften less than four week's wait
I had lunch with Rowan Atkinson when he paid and wasn't late
I know a public swimming bath where they don't piss in the pool
I know a guy who got a job straight after leaving school
I've met a normal merman and a fairly modest German
But I've never met a nice South African.

No he's never met a nice South African
And that's not bloody surprising man
'Cause we're a bunch of talentless murderers
Who smell like baboons

I've had a close encounter of the twenty-second kind
That's when an alien spaceship disappears up your behind
I got directory enquiries after less than forty rings
I've even heard a decent song by Paul McCartney's Wings
I've seen a flying pig in a quite convincing wig
But I've never met a nice South African.

No he's never met a nice South African
And that's not bloody surprising man
'Cause we're a bunch of ignorant loudmouths
With no sense of humour - ha ha

I've met the Loch Ness monster and he looks like Fred Astaire
At the BBC in London he's the chief commissionaire
I know a place in Glasgow which is rife with daffodillies
I met a man in Katmandu who claimed to have two willies
I've had a nice pot noodle but I've never had a poodle
And I've never met a nice South African.

No he's never met a nice South African
And that's not bloody surprising man
Because we've never met one either
Except for Breyten Breytenbach and he's emigrated to Paris. (farts)

Yes he's quite a nice South African
And he's hardly ever killed anyone
And he's not smelly at all.
That's why they put him prison.

that song only applies to south african white people.

and its wrong. i know a very nice south african

[brendywendy]

Extended Phenotype is the best new poster on HNA. FACT.

for this alone he deserves that titlle

Or if you are a Cyndy Lauper fan;

If you lost, and you look and you’re Bongani, time after time.

[No Fixed Abode]

I saw my mate the other day,
He said to me, he'd seen the black Hicksy,
So I asked, "Who is he?"
He goes by the name of Bonghani
Bonghani, Bonghani, goes by the name of Bonghani.

[The Rouge]

To the tune of: Here Comes The Hotstepper - Ini Kamoze

(Nah, na na na nah
Na na na nah, na na nah, na na nah
Na na na nah)

Here comes the Bongani (sign him up)
surname of Khumalo (sign him up)
Excuse me McDermott (sign him up)
Won't you play him at the back? (sign him up)

[Silver Fox]

Extended Phenotype is the best new poster on HNA. FACT.

for this alone he deserves that titlle

Or if you are a Cyndy Lauper fan;

If you lost, and you look and you’re Bongani, time after time.

He's inspired me

Bonghani, I'm not your daddy
Mama's baby, daddy's maybe

[brendywendy]

bongani, bongano life goes on yeah, lala how the life goes on.

[The Rouge]

bongani, khumalo hoops are on woah, lala how the hoops are on.

??

[brendywendy]

err yes.


thats why youre the musician, and im just a bass player

[No Fixed Abode]

We've had "Sonko is Superman"

We've had "Bikey is Spiderman"

So how about "Bonghani is Ironman".

[urz13]

We've had "Sonko is Superman"

We've had "Bikey is Spiderman"

So how about "Bonghani is Ironman".

batman!

[who are ya?]

Bonghani is Lion Man

[Simon's Church]

Born in the Swaziland (he was)
Born in the Swaziland (he was)
Born in the Swaziland
Born in the Swaziland

He got in a little hometown jam
And so they put a rifle in his hands
Sent him off to Reading Land
To go and kill the yellow man


And for the easy games when he has nothing to do and so can join in with the songs:

What you want Bongani? To drink and fight!
What you need Bongani? To fcuck all night!

If you think it sounds a bit rubbish, try singing it in your head and you'll realise it is actually terrible, so will fit in perfectly with 90% of the songs we sing.

[Compo's Hat]

Take on Me Aha

So Bonghani's here
Harry's odds and ends
came from Spurs likes to tackle
Slowly learning that life is OK.
Say after me
he's our south african international

Bon -gha- neee
Bon-gha-ni
Bon-gha-neee
Kumalo Bonghaniiii

Can you imagine RFC fans trying to do the high pitch part right at the end

[Ian Royal]

We've had "Sonko is Superman"

We've had "Bikey is Spiderman"

So how about "Bonghani is Ironman".

batman!

Bongani is Captain South Africa!

[Svlad Cjelli]

To the tune of Zambesi (keeping an African theme)

Bonghani, Bonghani, Bonghani .....

[Terminal Boardom]

To the tune of Zambesi (keeping an African theme)

Bonghani, Bonghani, Bonghani .....