Did anybody have a poo at Elm Park?

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Maguire
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Did anybody have a poo at Elm Park?

by Maguire » 04 Aug 2011 09:57

I don't recall the EP toilets all that well from my teenage years but i'm pretty sure it was just a piss against the wall situation, with accompanying smell.

Did they have sit-down facilities there and if so did anybody actually take a dump there? Was there any paper? Did the door lock? What prompted you to risk it?

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Re: Did anybody have a poo at Elm Park?

by Focher » 04 Aug 2011 10:01

if i ever needed to unload at football, which was rare, i always stuck to the Royals Rendez Vous. Not the best condition toilets, but you felt that you could have a shit without catching AIDS.

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Re: Did anybody have a poo at Elm Park?

by Svlad Cjelli » 04 Aug 2011 10:03

Lawro Robin Friday did.

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Re: Did anybody have a poo at Elm Park?

by Wax Jacket » 04 Aug 2011 10:05

no but since leaving EP I have had poos in the vicinity, the changing rooms at Palmer Park, in the Spread and, most famously and :oops: ly, at a house viewing not more than half a mile away

oh and I had to wipe my arse with a sock in the R+T and leave it behind the cistern

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Re: Did anybody have a poo at Elm Park?

by Tony Le Mesmer » 04 Aug 2011 10:07

I dont think i have ever had a shit at a football match. I blame the said Elm Park toilets for this.


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Re: Did anybody have a poo at Elm Park?

by Tony Le Mesmer » 04 Aug 2011 10:08

Wax Jacket oh and I had to wipe my arse with a sock in the R+T and leave it behind the cistern


ALOL

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Re: Did anybody have a poo at Elm Park?

by southbank1871 » 04 Aug 2011 10:38

You’ve got a whole selection of gr8 poo stories iirc Waxjers.

And in answer to the OP, absolutely not. I'm sure the toilets in the North stand were significantly better than in the Southbank, so there may have been shitting facilities there.

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Re: Did anybody have a poo at Elm Park?

by LUX » 04 Aug 2011 10:41

did people call it the North Stand?

We just called it "the seats". Or Norfolk Road.

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Re: Did anybody have a poo at Elm Park?

by Tilehurst End » 04 Aug 2011 10:56

Did anybody have a poo at Elm Park?

Everytime the ball was at Hicks's feet!


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Re: Did anybody have a poo at Elm Park?

by roadrunner » 04 Aug 2011 11:01

Maguire I don't recall the EP toilets all that well from my teenage years but i'm pretty sure it was just a piss against the wall situation, with accompanying smell.



I remember having to near paddle through the piss to get to the against the wall wee basin. Stank as well.

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Super Kevin Bremner!
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Re: Did anybody have a poo at Elm Park?

by Super Kevin Bremner! » 04 Aug 2011 11:06

Yep, and a oxf*rd and a cheeky little spliff.

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Re: Did anybody have a poo at Elm Park?

by dogzbollox » 04 Aug 2011 11:07

never had a shit a match, seen plenty on the field tho'............... yeah yeah yeah predictable I know

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My Record 106 Poo's

by roadrunner » 04 Aug 2011 11:20

dogzbollox never had a shit a match, seen plenty on the field tho'............... yeah yeah yeah predictable I know


I have at the Madstad. The season we won Championship I'd noticed I'd been for a dump two matches running before kick-off and we won both games, so I then saved it up for the next bunch of games and we kept winning. :shock:

I've had other superstitions at football too. Wearing the same trainers, leaving my watch at home...

I'm currently on a cracking run of not seeing us win in about 5 games, and all I have to do is take myself to football. :|


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Wax Jacket
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Re: Did anybody have a poo at Elm Park?

by Wax Jacket » 04 Aug 2011 11:22

yeah I've definitely been a few times. favourite sporting poo was at Lord's in 04 where Gilo got two wickets in an over.

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Maguire
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Re: Did anybody have a poo at Elm Park?

by Maguire » 04 Aug 2011 11:24

Super Kevin Bremner! Yep, and a oxf*rd and a cheeky little spliff.


At the same time :?:

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Re: Did anybody have a poo at Elm Park?

by Tamworth_Royal » 04 Aug 2011 12:13

" Elm Park what a dump"

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Re: Did anybody have a poo at Elm Park?

by friday fan » 04 Aug 2011 12:21

As kids we used to play dominos, we were in the southbank and at half time the older guys mostly skins would lift us over the fence at the west reading end and we'd go into the toilets and push the guys having a pee in the back so they'd be flush against the pee wall. that was dominos and around 1969/70.

Ahhh found memories lol :D

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Re: Did anybody have a poo at Elm Park?

by Woodcote Royal » 04 Aug 2011 16:47

Only the once, right by the corner flag.............................blended in very nicely with all the discarded Tilehurst End burgers!

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Re: Did anybody have a poo at Elm Park?

by Ian Herring » 04 Aug 2011 17:00

Great thread.

I'm with Focher on the RR drop-out. Unfortunately my programme also dropped out of my pocket as I was landing the trout and buried a corner of its pages in my fresh mud. Naturally I cleaned it up and kept it. Then laughed as my mate asked to read the same edition when I returned to the upstairs bar. 'Of course you can,' I said, smiling sweetly.

However, I did have occasion to have to use the Southbank sh*tter, once, and once only.

I confess that I stood astride the pan, soles of feet on the (what was once) porcelain and dropped the charge from a height. I had consumed so much Newcastle Brown ale that my bowels would no longer 'retain' and so to the 'Devil's Bidet' it was that I had to visit.

I laughed very much at my own defecatory antics. The state of the place was legendary. A miasmic hole.

No f*cking paper on the day either (surprise) so more than pleased to have nicked the signs a few years later with the word 'renovated' in its warning.

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Re: Did anybody have a poo at Elm Park?

by Ian Royal » 04 Aug 2011 19:10

I never even had a piss at Elm Park. I might have been in a bit more bother if I'd have been old enough to be drinking at / before matches then of course.

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