Worst Lavatory Experience

[RepressedRoyal]

It was regularly said by former South Bankers that the urinal at this part of Elm Park was one of the worst most fans had experienced home or away, the stench was quite remarkable in it's power to create headache and nausea. I am in the process of compiling a blog about hideous footballing lavatorial experiences of the 70's and 80's and was wondering if anyone had any unique tales of Hellish encounters, or in fact if anyone had ever opened the door and entered the actual area for number two's. Ayresome Park stands out for me a chief rival as does Portsmouth.

[Pete10]

Pompey is a shit pit anyway. Elm Park was pants.

[leicsRoyal]

Saltergate, Chesterfield was quite an experience.

Standing against the urinal wall in the wide open while people looked over you out of the bedroom window of their terraced houses.

[MR. CYNICAL]

Vetch field, Swansea

[bracknell loyal royal!]

viewtopic.php?f=1&t=108289&st=0&sk=t&sd=a&hilit=toilets

[RepressedRoyal]

http://hobnob.royals.org/forum/viewtopic.php?f=1&t=108289&st=0&sk=t&sd=a&hilit=toilets

Thanks Bracknell, wonderful stuff here, not been a member long so had not seen this, some classic material!!!

[RepressedRoyal]

Can anyone beat this from Ian Herring, absolute comedy gold!

I'm with Focher on the RR drop-out. Unfortunately my programme also dropped out of my pocket as I was landing the trout and buried a corner of its pages in my fresh mud. Naturally I cleaned it up and kept it. Then laughed as my mate asked to read the same edition when I returned to the upstairs bar. 'Of course you can,' I said, smiling sweetly.

However, I did have occasion to have to use the Southbank sh*tter, once, and once only.

I confess that I stood astride the pan, soles of feet on the (what was once) porcelain and dropped the charge from a height. I had consumed so much Newcastle Brown ale that my bowels would no longer 'retain' and so to the 'Devil's Bidet' it was that I had to visit.

I laughed very much at my own defecatory antics. The state of the place was legendary. A miasmic hole.

No f*cking paper on the day either (surprise) so more than pleased to have nicked the signs a few years later with the word 'renovated' in its warning.

[Rick_Dangerous]

Good thread.

For me it was probably my visit to Roker Park, was in the home end - cess pit would be too kind.

[Svlad Cjelli]

Bootham Crescent, York (as was).

Two long concrete walls, one with a trough in front of it, but without end walls. And that was it, nothing else.

[Warfield North Stand]

Colchester Away. Last away game of the season the year we lost the final in Cardiff. 2k away fans squeezed in with one Urinal and a sink as the "facilities" And most of us had been on the beer so it was not pleasant!!

[Gordons Cumming]

Aldershot by a country mile.

Needed a tetanus injection and course of antibiotics.

[RepressedRoyal]

Thanks all, some great stuff coming through here....someone emailed me this....Oh FFS what some people will do...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wsKu5u9ohCU

[floyd__streete]

Swansea City's Vetch Field toilet was a pitch black hut, smelling of death.....and as such was voted Best Building in Wales every year until its closure. It seemed to narrow into a triangular shape so I accidentally ended up brushing the wall with my knuckle. I had to have the hand amputated up to the elbow.

[FiNeRaIn]

Swansea City's Vetch Field toilet was a pitch black hut, smelling of death.....and as such was voted Best Building in Wales every year until its closure. It seemed to narrow into a triangular shape so I accidentally ended up brushing the wall with my knuckle. I had to have the hand amputated up to the elbow.

I've smelt some horrendous bogs in my time. Thankfully not the vetch.

[Fox Talbot]

I recall a bog at Griffin Park (probably the main stand!!) early 70s, with floor literally at least an inch deep in piss and almost totally dark.

[Ark Royal]

Did anyone honestly ever have to take a shit in the Stygian gloom of Elm Park's army latrines? In the 33 years of going to games there, I never felt that desperate.

[gazzer, loyal royal]

Swansea City's Vetch Field toilet was a pitch black hut, smelling of death.....and as such was voted Best Building in Wales every year until its closure. It seemed to narrow into a triangular shape so I accidentally ended up brushing the wall with my knuckle. I had to have the hand amputated up to the elbow.

absolutely seconded. it was a complete sh1thole

[swansea jack]

Swansea City's Vetch Field toilet was a pitch black hut, smelling of death.....and as such was voted Best Building in Wales every year until its closure. It seemed to narrow into a triangular shape so I accidentally ended up brushing the wall with my knuckle. I had to have the hand amputated up to the elbow.

Same in the home end tbh. Never have I smelt such pungent ammonia in my life.

[Stuka]

I haven't been, but I saw a report about the toilets at Derry City's home Brandywell on BBC Northern Ireland recently and reckon they must rank among the UK's most rancid cesspits. Having sone a quick search just now I could only find this article:

"The toilets are totally unacceptable."
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-northern-ireland-12401916

But in the footage I saw of them, they are basically uncovered, open air and exposed to the elements, to say nothing of prying eyes.

Brings a whole new meaning to the name "Bogside" eh?

[Franchise FC]

Anfield - went to see Liverpool vs Man Utd before the Taylor report and stood on the Kop.

My mate found out that no-one moves from thier spot once they've got it - glad it wasn't my pocket