Back from the Game - West Ham

[The Rouge]

The royal blue is vivid in the sunshine
as the big game feeling weighs heavy-
Negative Jeff swerves as reserved seating,
socks and eccentricity prevails.
The Clarets boss the game, score early
and McDermott's Royals are on the rails.

Second to the ball all over the park
Tomkins and Faye are coping with ease
Gorkss missing the ball, Roberts not jumping -
nothing is sticking and Upton Park sees
their over-physical team get away with the rough
but alongside that play some pretty nice stuff.

Extending the lead seems a matter of time
until the not-at-the-races become the sublime.
Whipped in from Harte and desire from Gorkss,
then Roberts to Hunt to the net for the score
to remarkably be 1-2 to the Royals
when really not deserving a share of the spoils.

Half time ensues with thunderous roar,
let the sound of Bill Oddie just bounce of the walls.
The action resumes with a new sense of calm
and a confident Reading let their football dictate.
Foy finds his whistle as the Royals find their feet
and Harte has 12 yards and a keeper to beat.

A great header from Vaz Te gives the Hammers a shout
but the truth of the matter is the spoils are safe.
We never seemed rattled nor just hacking it out
and a draw is less likely than the Royals on the rout.
Leigertwood calms nerves with a fortunate score,
just passed into the net and Green should have done more.

A fifth is chalked out but we are happy with four,
after that start it was rude to seek more.
Hunt was awful for 40 then really great for the rest
but I think that for the Reading Mikele was best.
McDermott's a legend as the banner suggests
and we are six more big efforts from the ultimate test.

[Royal With Cheese]

That's Poetry.

[Snowball]

nope

[RockheadRumple]

I'm reserving my judgement until Negative Jeff thinks something up. Can't lie though, that was beautiful.

[Fluff]

The royal blue is vivid in the sunshine
as the big game feeling weighs heavy-
Negative Jeff swerves as reserved seating,
socks and eccentricity prevails.
The Clarets boss the game, score early
and McDermott's Royals are on the rails.

Second to the ball all over the park
Tomkins and Faye are coping with ease
Gorkss missing the ball, Roberts not jumping -
nothing is sticking and Upton Park sees
their over-physical team get away with the rough
but alongside that play some pretty nice stuff.

Extending the lead seems a matter of time
until the not-at-the-races become the sublime.
Whipped in from Harte and desire from Gorkss,
then Roberts to Hunt to the net for the score
to remarkably be 1-2 to the Royals
when really not deserving a share of the spoils.

Half time ensues with thunderous roar,
let the sound of Bill Oddie just bounce of the walls.
The action resumes with a new sense of calm
and a confident Reading let their football dictate.
Foy finds his whistle as the Royals find their feet
and Harte has 12 yards and a keeper to beat.

A great header from Vaz Te gives the Hammers a shout
but the truth of the matter is the spoils are safe.
We never seemed rattled nor just hacking it out
and a draw is less likely than the Royals on the rout.
Leigertwood calms nerves with a fortunate score,
just passed into the net and Green should have done more.

A fifth is chalked out but we are happy with four,
after that start it was rude to seek more.
Hunt was awful for 40 then really great for the rest
but I think that for the Reading Mikele was best.
McDermott's a legend as the banner suggests
and we are six more big efforts from the ultimate test.

I thought it was an unreleased Half Man Half Biscuit track

[M-U-R-T-Y]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=THs915bDkyI

06:24 onwards

Gives me chills!

[RockheadRumple]

This game is worthy of an animation from this guy: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cRZMjHzWXQc

[Lucky Libran]

Special shout to my old man who not only predicted 2-4, but backed it up with a bet....100-1.

I had six quid on Reading to score 5 or more (about 190-1). I shall be sending a strongly worded tweet to @ChrisHoy

[SHORT AND CURLY]

THIS totally sums up the delusional Spammers

http://www.kumb.com/report.php?id=101192

A five year old could have made a better job of compiling a match report rather than that load of biased bile.

The sad thing is I think they actually believe their own hype!

[leicsRoyal]

THIS totally sums up the delusional Spammers

http://www.kumb.com/report.php?id=101192

A five year old could have made a better job of compiling a match report rather than that load of biased bile.

The sad thing is I think they actually believe their own hype!

That forum just keeps on giving!

BFS, the players, the fans.....there just isn't a mirror big enough!

[Mr Optimist]

I don't think it's flu, sounds like some brain wasting illness in it's final stages to me.

Also flu doesn't affect your eyesight.

[The Rouge]

I'm reserving my judgement until Negative Jeff thinks something up. Can't lie though, that was beautiful.

Negative Jeff texted and asked me to deputise. We both take needless post-match sub-GCSE level prose very seriously indeed.

[Wimb]

THIS totally sums up the delusional Spammers

http://www.kumb.com/report.php?id=101192

A five year old could have made a better job of compiling a match report rather than that load of biased bile.

The sad thing is I think they actually believe their own hype!

Much confusion amongst the Reading fans who presumed that the goal had been disallowed because there is no music.

Did have to chuckle at that bit

[mr_number]

I'm still enjoying this a lot. Just saw a West Ham themed skip go past my office. I'll let someone else do the joke...

I still can't quite understand how we managed to come back into it - I noticed from abou 30-35 mins we had a bit more of the ball, but to get those two goals suddenly, it was dreamland. Not really thinking about the next six games that much at the moment, just still smiling from Saturday. Massive, massive LOLZ.

[parky]

* Want to submit your match reports to KUMB.com? More details here ...

I have sbmitted the Rouge poem.

[3 veesinarow]

THIS totally sums up the delusional Spammers

http://www.kumb.com/report.php?id=101192

A five year old could have made a better job of compiling a match report rather than that load of biased bile.

The sad thing is I think they actually believe their own hype!

This bit...

The Reading supporters, who seem to be under the misapprehension that their nickname is “the Royals” rather than “The Biscuitmen”

is just coming from someone who supports a club with a minimum of two nicknames and two names for their ground. We changed our nickname 30 years ago and stuck with it. Get with the times - it's not 1966 any more, you muggy kant.

[chilipepper91]

THIS totally sums up the delusional Spammers

http://www.kumb.com/report.php?id=101192

A five year old could have made a better job of compiling a match report rather than that load of biased bile.

The sad thing is I think they actually believe their own hype!

I think someone is rattLOLed. blame Reading, blame the ref, blame the linesman, blame BFS, blame the Reading fans but DON'T BLAME WEST HAM!

We were just fed up that we’d lost to such an average team by handing them the points on a plate like some sort of charitable donation.

So average we've tonked you twice this season and we're ahead of you in the Champo

West Ham United: the ideal pick-me-up for a hangover

[Snowball]

That report is soooooo bad.


Did he watch it on the radio?

[Basingstoke Royal]

Shocking match report. The guy obviously has something more seriously wrong with him than flu.

Almost every detail is wrong in his write up - but it obviously makes him feel better to make stuff up. Someone send him the picture showing that Hunt was onside.

And yes they had a lot of the ball, but again how many save did Federici have to make.

We should have had 5 or 6.

Got to chuckle though. West Ham United is in turmoil and the wheels arew coming off - the manager, the players and the fans - all suffering from some sort of mental illness.

Lovely stuff.

[pea]

Whoever wrote that report is an utter moron.

"Apart from Faubert for a pretty harmless challenge on Robson-Kanu of course." Apparently you now have to assault a player for it to be a free kick. One of the most cynical tackles I've seen this season from a petulant player who was truly beaten (and shouldn't have been considering his experience and pace).

A lot of comment has been made on KUMB about Roberts' yellow card and how it should have been red. I couldn't believe that Foy even booked him. There was some accidental contact as two players challenged for the ball but it was more Faye's fault than Roberts. If Roberts deserved a red card for that then Collins should have been hung drawn and quartered for punching Karacan in the face.