Is Jimmy Kebe the greatest man that ever lived?

[southbank1871]

Epic bantz from Jimmy.

[genome]

This bloke is just a legend.

[melonhead]

Truly proving, conclusively, finally, once and for all, that he is indeed the greatest man that ever lived.

.

yes^^^this

[MouldyRoyal]

‏@JKebe
Oups i thought if you're french and play football u just pop in to Newcastle and sign a contract Not a chance of leaving #LoveReadingFc# ‏

[Twin Lake]

He does what he wants! Hilarious!

[melonhead]

Jimmy is a collossus who stands astride the world.
His piss is like blessed rain,
his poo, like lumps of brown ambrosia, falling from the heavens.
His lanky legs hold up the sky,
and his handsome visage makes even the most beautiful
of the angels hide their faces in shame.
He is faster than a speeding comet,
as nimble and agile as a ninja master
and laughs in the face of fear and death.
bow down and tremble before him!

Many believe that Kebe did create God himself,
and that God worphips Jimmy from a shrine in heaven.
His farts are the thunder,
the stars and sun and moon are made when light reflects from his perfect teeth.
His spit is the oceans,
the fish procreate in his name,
the birds of the air sing his praise in song, each morning of every day;
the day that jimmy himself commands into being, and signals to end,
with the rising and setting of the sun that he made
by taking a small flame from the fire in his belly.

Give thanks that you share the same air as He,
for truly you are not worthy.

[jkkne]

Any quotes from NUFC boards before joke was exposed?

Nice one Jimmy!

From the board I use, which is the most popular....

Squidward, HBA, Jonas, Marvaux, Sammi, why do we need him? (first post)

That's what I'm thinking!! He put winky faces at the end of it, he's 29, HMM

29 year old on a 4 year deal? hmmmm. Got to be a wind up

Thank f**k for that, nearly gave me a heart attack (after joke announced)

[Stuka]

He is the funniest and cleverest footballer in the world. He can just wind up the whole football media on a whim, with a single Tweet.

[ManchesterRoyals]

‏@JKebe
Oups i thought if you're french and play football u just pop in to Newcastle and sign a contract Not a chance of leaving #LoveReadingFc# ‏

Quality

Your the Man

[maffff]

love ya Jimmy!

[Wimb]

@Scottwilsonecho Perhaps if Kebe was as inventive on the field, Reading wouldn't be in the bottom three.... #NUFC

RattLOLed

[The Prisoner]

Danny Guthrie has just tweeted

Just read @jkebe tweet and shit myself!! Don't do that again

[southbank1871]

In answer to the OP, yes.

[ManchesterRoyals]

Any quotes from NUFC boards before joke was exposed?

Nice one Jimmy!

From the board I use, which is the most popular....

Squidward, HBA, Jonas, Marvaux, Sammi, why do we need him? (first post)

That's what I'm thinking!! He put winky faces at the end of it, he's 29, HMM

29 year old on a 4 year deal? hmmmm. Got to be a wind up

Thank f**k for that, nearly gave me a heart attack (after joke announced)

Cheeky cxnts

Cause Newcastles doing so well with there bunch of superstars

[The Prisoner]

and now Alfie....

@jkebe "you fucking joking me" French accent

[akranes]

Wikipedia

He scored on his return from injury with a cool finish at home to Arsenal in a 5-2 defeat, before signing for Newcastle in January as he is French.

[maffff]

‏@JKebe
Oups i thought if you're french and play football u just pop in to Newcastle and sign a contract Not a chance of leaving #LoveReadingFc# ‏

Redefining the boundaries of hashtags #KebeTweets#

[Greatwesternline]

Need.A.Statue.Of.Him.Now

Or.A.Very.Big.Banner

[Royals-lad14]

How much would I have to pay to spend a day with him?

im willing to pay anything up to a million.....

[Stuka]

Possible title for forthcoming Kebe biography: The Greatest Footballer You Ever Actually Saw