Issue 1 - January 1998

Parky explains...
This week, Phil Parkinson sets you straight on... Philosophy.

What is Philosophy? I hear you ask. And it's a very good question. It's a question that I would like to answer with another question, and that question is this: If a tree falls down in a forest and there's no-one there to hear, does it make a sound?
Or to put it another way, If I fly in with a crunching tackle, just to get even, and the referee and his little helpers don't see, is it still a foul?
Or to put it another way, if I am just a figment of my own imagination, and reality is merely a dream, then can there really be such a thing as a second bookable offence, or to put it another way, is time an illusion, and injury time doubly so, and if your glass has 50% of its capacity taken up with beer, is it half full, or half empty, and more to the point whose round is it? How long is a piece of string?
What is reality, anyway - can there be such a thing? Is everyone's reality different, and is there any way of proving it? What I see as red may be what you see as blue, but I don't know if that's very likely.
What is the sound of one hand clapping? I have no idea - you'd probably have to ask a Swindon fan.

These are all questions of great significance in the crazy world of philosophy. Plato was a philosopher and so was Socrates, but it didn't stop them making a sliding tackle when they had to. I think you looked at me in a funny way, therefore I am going to take your legs out next time I get a chance if the ref's looking the other way.

Of course, there are people who argue that Philosophy is a bit poncey, and that it's only long-haired ginger bastards who really give a toss about what Wittgenstein may or may not have said, but then there are those that say that football is too rough and that some players probably shouldn't be allowed on the field. But who cares what referees think?

How many roads must a man walk down? I've always thought that it's as many as he needs to in order to get where he's going, but what do I know?

So, in a nutshell, Philosophy is just thinking about things, really. It's just got a posh name.

Cheers,
Phil