Issue 2 - March 1998

Parky explains...
This week, Phil Parkinson sets you straight on... Poetry.

What is poetry? Poetry, it has been said, is the art of using precisely the right number of words to describe an event, story, or emotion.
As far as I can tell, that's bollocks. Some poems go on and on and on and on. Of course, proper poetry should always rhyme. There are those who disagree, but I tend to get over arguments by making an incisive comment with my right boot.
Some football clubs today have a poet in residence. They tend to spout loads of nonsense about their teams' glorious victories. I think this is a bit poncey, but I've started doing some writing of my own in case I need an extra string to my bow when my playing days are up.
So, here's my version of the nation's favourite poem:

If you can keep your feet when all around are losing blood,
If you can make a crunching tackle come wind, sleet, snow or mud,
If opposition players quake when you are near,
If even referees' assistants turn blind eyes in fear,
If you're renowned across the country at football grounds and parks
For uncompromising tackles and lurid red stud-marks,
If you can give as good as got when wild insults are hurled,
Then you are a midfielder my son, and yours is the world.

Cheers,
Phil