Issue 13 - October 1999
John Madejski may not know a great deal about football...

John Madejski may not know a great deal about football but he clearly understands the game's protocols. After announcing to the local press that he was firmly behind his manager, Madejski knew that he'd painted himself into a corner: Tommy Burns would have to go. So, a few days after the ringing endorsement, he delivered the coup de grace: the tin tack for Burns and Bonner.

Despite his protestations afterwards, Burns knew that the writing was on the wall and it said, "You're about to get sacked" in very large letters. After I interviewed him for Whiff, Issue 11, I thanked him and remarked that the fans liked to read interviews with senior people at the club, although perhaps they wouldn't be quite so interested if we were bottom of the table after six games. Burns responded by saying in that case it wouldn't matter because if we were bottom after six games, he wouldn't be here anyway. Perhaps he should forge himself as a new career as a psychic.

He could argue, of course, that we weren't bottom after six games, only second from bottom and on those grounds he should have kept his job. This would be a bit like arguing that the Titanic's maiden voyage wasn't a complete disaster since it did get half way across the Atlantic and so perhaps they should build another. All right, not much like it but the analogy of a sinking ship does seem rather apt.

Burns was bound to defend himself and some of his comments, particularly regarding the injury problems and the lack of football knowledge on the board, had more than a ring of truth to them. Others, such as his gripe about funds, did not and seemed like a large bunch of sour grapes. Despite what certain unimaginative commentators might preach, results do not speak for themselves (since a "result" is an abstract concept and therefore cannot possess the power of speech) but they do go a long way towards deciding the fate of a football manager.

The timing of the dismissal seemed rather odd. Just after a creditable draw with Premiership Giants, Bradford City (he wrote, with no discernible trace of sarcasm) and with two home league games in the offing, it would have appeared to be more sensible to allow Burns until the end of September at least before making any decision. Instead, it seems as though Madejski had decided that, if we lost to Bournemouth, Burns would have to go, so why did he wait until the Thursday to drop the axe? We'll probably never know but one thing is certain: Madejski is getting mightily fed up with pumping money in for so little reward.

So, what does the chairman do now? His footballing education is getting broader all the time. When McGhee was at the helm, Madejski tried to achieve Premiership status not so much on the cheap as below the poverty line. When that all went pear-shaped, he brought in an inexperienced (and probably cheap) manager in Bullivant and loosened the purse strings a bit. Having seen that go belly-up inside a year, he went for the expensive option: a high profile manager and more money to spend than all previous Reading managers put together (at least, that's what it seemed like).

That policy has now been consigned to the dustbin so, for a man used to success in business, the situation may be getting a little desperate. Time, perhaps, for a change of strategy and let the unprofessionals take-over: the Whiff for manager? No, thought not.
Should Burns have got the sack? Many fans will certainly think so given that the team showed no sign of improvement from last season whatsoever. Individually, we seemed to have a decent squad but they are about as keen on acting collectively as a gang of Libertarians on a "Do your own thing" weekend. As a team, we were (and still are) a bit of a shambles and Tommy Burns has to take the lion's share of the criticism for that.

On the other hand, we've now got to put up with yet another period of upheaval as we wait for a new manager to be appointed (assuming he, or they, or possibly it, or less possibly she, has not been appointed already in a move deliberately designed to coincide with the Whiff going to the printers) and watch as they attempt to dismantle the squad and replace it with their own. Promotion this season is not impossible but I'd put it up there alongside the chances of Naomi Campbell winning the Booker Prize or Skoda coming first in the Formula One Constructors Championship.

The new man (or men, or … etc, etc) has to sort out the defence and quickly. No team leaking as many goals as we are at the present can possibly hope to be promotion challengers; the occasional mistake is understandable but our defence seems to think that "occasional" means every ten minutes. Perhaps we should drop the "Football Club" part of our title and opt for charitable status instead.

Howie's days look numbered but the why has it taken this long? Every goalkeeper makes mistakes: even Shaka made a few and cost us points but they paled into insignificance compared to the number he saved us. But Howie has consistently cocked up and a good defence relies heavily on a decent goalkeeper. The question is, if Howie survived despite all his mistakes, just how bad does that make Van de Kwaak? A new goalkeeper, then, is a priority.

Madejski, of course, has stated that there's no money available for new players so the new manager will need to offload a few. Certain candidates spring to mind: Gurney, Crawford, McIntyre, Brayson, and McLaren but who on earth would want them? Even Hibernian would balk at playing good money for that lot of nonentities.

So we'll have to make do with what we've got, although Pardew's experienced a few problems with that policy already. His use of the wing backs is flawed because whoever plays in that position needs pace and we've got.……..Gray and Gurney. Abbott and Costello might be more useful or, for younger readers, the Krankies. Come to think of it, Stuart Gray does bear more than a passing resemblance to Wee Jimmy Kranky and Gurney could certainly play the back legs of a pantomime horse in this year's production of Cinderella at the Hexagon.

I hate to repeat myself (what do you mean, I hear you cry, you've been writing the same old rubbish for twelve issues) but our inability to get behind opposition defences is the root cause of our lack of penetration. Forster at least gives us some pace down the middle but he desperately needs support down both flanks. Simply waiting for Murty to get fit again just won't do and what about down the left? These are the key areas for Reading to address and we won't be successful until we've done so.

For those still convinced that we can get out of the division this season, let me say that I absolutely agree: relegation is a distinct possibility. Impossible? Think of the Oldham game at the Madejski Stadium - remember that exhilarating one-all draw?

Here's a team who narrowly avoided relegation last year (thanks to a last day win over, er, Reading) and are bottom of the table this season. Obviously, one of the worst teams in the League. And yet we only managed to scrape a home draw thanks to the referee, who obviously hasn't got to the "How to end the game" page in the ref's coaching manual.

In other words, we're as good (or as bad) as the worst team in the division. Individually, we're much better than this but, unfortunately, football is a team game and what counts is how well those individuals are organised. What we desperately need is someone who can command respect, crack the whip and get them fired up. I wonder what Wee Jimmy Kranky's up to at the moment?